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Brendan Nelson earns "Arch Conservative" Award

Just when the rest of Australia was warming to the idea of cutting our apron strings with Mother England and creating an Australian Republic, up pops Dr Brendan Nelson with his right-wing rhetoric at the opening of the Australians for Constitutional Monarchy conference in Sydney.

And what a spectacular crowd for the annual conference. With an Australian population of 20 million, a grand total of 60 lost souls turned up to hear the former ear ring studded Minister sing the praises of the English Monarchy.

Dr Nelson praised the virtues of having Queen Elizabeth as Queen of Australia yet fell short of telling the gobsmacked political troglodytes as to what his views might be when the Queen's recalcitrant first-born son becomes King Charles of Australia.

How absurd it will be when we have to sing "God Save the King" during future Royal tours by Bonnie King Charlie with his ex-mistress Queen Camilla in tow.

Even Peter Costello embraces an Australian republic yet Dr Nelson perseveres in the past, describing himself as "not a royalist, but ... a monarchist".

Not a sensible Minister, just an opportunistic dill!

John Howard's Dicky Wiki Explanation!

John Howard continues to treat the people of Australia as dimwits over his claims that he did not direct any of his staff to systematically change Australia's history by altering less-than-flattering Wikipedia entries regarding himself and his government.

Of course, he didn't. You don't have to Einstein to know that John Howard doesn't personally direct all of the political spin and media clap-trap emanating from his office on a daily basis.

And to have public servants involved in this deceptive process is nothing short of a national scandal.

Now, the Ministerial Class Clown Alexander Downer has weighed into the argument with his profound assertion that it is not illegal to alter Wikipedia entries. Der! Surely Alexander, you have heard of political ethics? Well, come to think of it, maybe you haven't!

Those fishnet stockings have obviously been too tight around the more-intellectual part of Alexander Downer's anatomy causing a brain implosion of unprecedented proportions.

When John Howard is finally given his marching orders by the people of Australia, history will record that he has been one of the most-conniving, manipulative and slippery Prime Ministers that this country has ever seen.

Hopefully by then, Wikipedia will have devised a system to ensure that the Liberal Party's rag-tag rabble of dishonest internet users have been stopped in their tracks forever.

Dr Haneef and the Australian Federal Police

The Australian Federal Police have a hide to be making an official complaint about the release by respected Brisbane solicitor Peter Russo of the second interview the AFP conducted with Dr Mohamed Haneef.

This transcript shows conclusively that Dr Haneef had no knowledge of any planned terrorist activities on the other side of the world.

The AFP have been party to one of the greatest acts of bastardry seen for many years with their selective release of PART of the transcript of the first interview with Dr Haneef. Yet this group of semi-incompetents seems they will never give up.

Are they being improperly directed or manipulated by their political masters?

The AFP is crying foul because the WHOLE of the transcript has been released. Surely, releasing the entire transcript is the only fair and honest thing to do, rather than the selective quotes readily supplied to the Immigration Minister Kevin Andrews for worldwide release.

What does the AFP have to hide besides their bumbling ineptitude over this matter?

Fair dinkum, they have now earned the title of the Australian Keystone Cops with this impressive performance of dubious political intrigue, kow-towing to a Minister whose handling of his portfolio could be better performed by an untrained gorilla.

After being forced to drop the trumped-up charge against Dr Haneef, AFP Commissioner Mick Keelty must now feel he is in the twilight of his long career. You would think that he might be prepared to be a little contrite about the AFP's handling of this tawdry affair.

Otherwise, Commisioner Keelty will go down in Australian policing history by being regarded by many people as the worst commissioner the AFP has ever had.